Debating Hip-Hop

Balloonerism to Faces is what Circles was to Swimming, a posthumous sequel that takes a step deeper into the dark yet beautiful mind of Mac Miller. 

By the time Mac recorded Balloonerism at the age of 22, he already released 16 projects seeing tremendous commercial success building himself a die-hard fanbase. A career that any independent artist would dream of, unfortunately, that came with a lot of baggage that he unpacks across the 14 song, 58 minute album. Balloonerism is essentially a therapy session in art form as we hear Mac articulate his emotions into every single metaphor and juxtaposition. The journey leading up to this daunting yet ethereal album paints the picture of one of the most captivating artistic evolutions of our time.

K.I.D.S., Best Day Ever, I Love Life, Thank You and Blue Slide Park were the projects that introduced Mac to the world. They encapsulated his youthful light hearted spirit through upbeat boom bap instrumentals and playful wordplay. Themes of partying, freedom and nostalgia connected with a whole generation of young adults that quickly became the soundtrack to colleges across America. His rise not only topped charts but made history as he became the first independent artist since 1995 to top the Billboard 200 with a debut album selling 144,000 copies with Blue Slide Park in 2011.

Despite his early success, Mac was met with resentment from critics who insisted on branding him the poster boy of “frat rap”, attempting to box him in as an artist and as a person. “A lot of the reviews were more on me as a person,” he said in an interview with Complex in 2013, “to be honest, that was even worse. You’re 19, you’re so excited to put out your first album, you put it out — and no one has any respect for you or for what you did.” Undoubtedly, Mac took these misconceptions personally, which I believe to be the most important moment in his career.

These denunciations would prove exceedingly misconstrued by the next chapter of his career as he began experimenting with psychedelic production and introspective subject matter on his 2012 mixtape Macadelic. Prior to the creation of this project, Mac moved to Los Angeles aspiring to uncover new inspirations for his sound. He built two studios in his home which would become a hub for frequent west coast collaborators Earl Sweatshirt, ScHoolboy Q, Ab-Soul, Vince Staples, Thundercat and many more. Even though remnants of a frat house still lingered, Macadelic was a glimpse into the new direction his career was taking that would come to fruition the following year with his second studio album Watching Movies With the Sound Off.

Watching Movies With the Sound Off couldn’t be further removed from his debut, the dark atmospheric production provided a perfect backdrop for his most mature songwriting yet diving into his personal struggles with drugs, mental health, relationships, fame, and religion. Mac feeds us a steady diet of bar heavy lyrical exercises and euphoric inner-directed ballads. Every single aspect of his craft developed significantly on this album, he recorded over 400 songs and scrapped two full albums before we got the final product we hear today. Mac’s ambition to experiment and grow as an artist encapsulates the essence of this album, a giant leap in the direction of what was to come on Faces, Balloonerism and the rest of his career.

Fresh off his most audacious project yet, Mac found himself without a record deal for the first time in four years creating a perfect opportunity to advance his artistic pursuit without the constraints of a label. Mac would make use of this freedom releasing his critically acclaimed mixtape Faces in May of 2014. It was widely praised for its vulnerability and artistic risk-taking, blending psychedelic and jazz inspired boom bap beats with raw, depressing lyrics. Watching Movies With the Sound Off only touched the surface compared to the introspective concepts and imagery displayed on Faces. Struggles with addiction and anticipation of death began to surround songs like ‘Malibu’ and ‘Grand Finale’ as he revealed it was “supposed to be the last song I made on earth. I don’t feel that way as much anymore.”

Before signing to Warner later in 2014, (that would shape the latter half of his career releasing a trilogy of fan favourite albums GO:OD AM, The Divine Feminine, and Swimming) Mac recorded what would be known as Balloonerism almost entirely over a two week span in Mar. 2014 during the development of Faces.

Ten years and ten months later..

Enter: Balloonerism

Balloonerism feels like the inevitable, heavier progression of Mac Miller’s inner-directed journey, a descent into the darker, quieter corners of his psyche. Where Faces balances psychedelic chaos with vibrant fast tempos, Balloonerism sheds those layers, embracing a slow, melancholic atmosphere that pulls listeners into a deep, almost suffocating state of reflection. It’s a sonic embodiment of the struggles of addiction, existential despair, and the questioning of one’s place in the world.

Historically, posthumous albums in hip-hop have been absolute disasters, littered with unfinished songs and unneccesarily long tracklists. Thankfully, Mac’s family was left in charge of his music and they’ve been nothing but respectful, putting intense care into not only the music but the entire rollout. Balloonerism comes 5 years after the first posthumous album they released in 2020, Circles, which he recorded to be a direct sequel to his final album Swimming (Swimming in Circles). If you have any reservations questioning if Mac would’ve released this album, this statement from his family might help: “It is a project that was of great importance to malcom – to the extent that he commissioned artwork for it and discussions concerning when it should be released were had regularly, though ultimately GO:OD AM and subsequent albums ended up taking precedence.”

This importance is evident in Mac’s minimalist approach to the production that allowed his emotional performances to take center stage, distinctively comparable to the characteristcs found in his future work, Swimming and Circles. Balloonerism‘s jazz inspired nature is exemplified through live instrumentation, surrounding his vocals with organs, pianos, drums, tamberines, guitars and baselines. None of which ever take authority, they are often heard freestyling in the near background, sometimes never repeating the same melodies twice. The production was primarily handled by Mac, Thundercat and Taylor Graves, and was recorded entirely by his engineer Josh Berg. Josh described their creative process behind the production on Reddit, “Thundercat and Taylor are on most songs because thats what they did most days – pull up and jam. Thats how these songs started. Those three were like a band, and a purely improvisational one at that. Taylor on keys, Thundercat on bass and Mac played the drums.”

Balloonerism kicks off with a tamberine solo on ‘Tamberine Dream‘, followed by DJ’s Chord Organ‘, a chord organ intro that sets the tone of the album supported by a lone SZA verse. We hear Mac’s voice for the first time on the outro as he shouts and harmonizes with the erie sounding organ leading into ‘Do You Have A Destination‘. This marks the true beginning of the album as we hear what seems to be a cassette tape being inserted into a recorder, followed by “alright, let’s get started.“

‘Do You Have A Destination?‘ immediately transports us into Mac’s contemplative inner-dialogue, he finds himself in a deep state of reflection searching for a sense of purpose in life that’s clouded by fame and addiction. Throughout the song he expresses feelings of unfulfillment towards fame and the burden its casted upon him, while also shedding light on accomplishments that he’s proud of.

“Okay, I went to sleep famous and I woke up invisible / Rich as fuck and miserable. At least I did Kimmel and Arsenio, my mom got it on video / That’s the shit I live for, all this other shit is trivial.”

These feelings of dissatisfaction are emphasized by Mac’s extreme commitment to his music and career as he compares his dedication to killing himself. He’s sacrificed his life to get to a place that’s brought him more agony than peace, which has led him on a quest to find tranquility in a world filled with temptations.

“I gave my life to this shit, already killed myself.”

Over the course of his entire career drug abuse was a consistent theme that he used as a coping mechanism to escape the adversities of life. He reveals he gets high in pursuit of peace, but never ends up finding it, recognizing that drugs aren’t going to solve the challenges he’s facing.

“Need to let the drugs go / Tryna find heaven, I get high but never come close.”

‘5 Dollar Pony Rides’ explores the inside of an emotionally complicated relationship over a light hearted instrumental supported by groovy baselines and high pitched keys. The story follows Mac’s desire to build a meaningful relationship with a girl but her emotional distance and instability prevents him from getting deeper. He expresses these desires through themes of materialism as he prioritizes bond building moments over anything money could buy. The chorus represents the overlying theme of the entire song as he offers to give her want she wants, which he knows is surface-level, in hopes of moving towards a deeper connection.

Let me give you what you want, ooh
And maybe later, what you need, yeah

‘Friendly Hallucinations’ uses themes of love and escapism to illustrate how drugs form a detachment from reality, building a reliance on the emotions it produces. The woman’s relationship with her hallucinations is portrayed with empathy, rather than judgment, giving her internal struggle a sense of beauty and acceptance. The song fluctuates between moments of clarity and abstraction, suggesting that what feels real can be deeply personal and subjective, “It’s only real if it’s real to you.“

‘Mrs. Deborah Downer’ is a weary, somber exploration into Mac’s personal battles with addiction, wealth, fame and the uncertainties of life. His disheartened tone, spoken word verses and consoling melodic performances instils the heaviness of his lyrical substance on the listener. The song’s powerful refrain and thought-provoking lyrics emphasize a sense of existential struggle, questioning how much control one truly has in a world that feels both inevitable and fragile, especially battling the illusion of time. 

“If pills can turn to powder / Then this world could turn to ash.“

He reflects a sense of existential frustration, suggesting that no matter the path taken, one inevitably reaches the same point of uncertainty or disillusionment. The repetition emphasizes the cyclical nature of life’s struggles, implying that all choices ultimately lead to similar outcomes. 

“All roads lead to the same confusion / I mean, all roads lead to the same conclusions”

He suggests that temptation and corruption often align with wealth, implying that greed can lead people down morally questionable paths. It highlights the idea that fame and success can attract negative influences or actions, blurring ethical lines.

“The devil always be right where the money is”

To wrap up the song, he raises the question of how materialistic or drug-dependent addicts will confront life’s struggles when they can no longer afford their means of coping. 

“What ya gonna do when the money comin’ slow?”

‘Stoned’ delves into the psyche of a woman stricken with mental health issues as Mac spends the entire song deconstructing her behaviour, ultimately offering an escape from her reality. Isolation, insecurity, loneliness, and depression were characteristics identified by Mac through reflective imagery, portraying her lost sense of identity. His attempt to understand her comes from a place of empathy, with the intentions of connecting on a deeper level. They share similarities through music and the use of substances to temporarily mask their personal turmoil, which Mac uses in the chorus to bond over.

Baby, let’s get stoned / Put on a record, can I play you one more song?

‘Shangri-La’ and ‘Rick’s Piano’ & are direct references to Rick Rubin and his infamous Los Angeles studio where Mac spent time detoxing and creating new music after the release of Faces in summer 2014. In a 2015 interview with Grantland, Mac described how it came about:

“So I’m fucked up in Europe one day, and I drunk-dialed Rick Rubin… I was like, ‘Rick, dude, I’m fucked up, will you help me?’ So I went and kicked it with him for the summer in Malibu. And got clean… I’d just go to Rick’s house every day and just sit and play the keyboard.”

Mac’s relationship with Rick would continue throughout the rest of his career as he challenged him to explore new sounds and reach new emotional depths. His mentorship and influence is most notably seen on Swimming through the minimalist production, live instruments and jazz arrangements.

Both ‘Rick’s Piano’ and ‘Shangri-La’ tap into deeply emotional and existential themes in Mac Miller’s work, but each song does so in its own unique way.

‘Rick’s Piano’ brings a raw introspection into the complexities of fame and self-doubt. You’re absolutely right in saying it blends playfulness with darker, more contemplative elements. The way Mac delves into his fears about losing himself while being caught up in fame speaks to the uncertainty many artists face, especially when it feels like the world around them is spinning too fast. His Delusional Thomas persona adds a layer of surrealism, allowing him to express thoughts and emotions that might be too vulnerable to show in his primary voice. It’s almost like a defense mechanism that lets him hide behind the persona while also confronting his fears head-on. There’s this fascinating mix of humor and vulnerability in the track, which hints at Mac’s ability to acknowledge his flaws and yet remain grounded in his desire to evolve.

He repeats this simple yet powerful line throughout the song that acts as a sense of hope amongst his drowning thoughts.

“The best is yet to come”

‘Shangri-La’, on the other hand, is more of an escape track, where Mac is searching for peace amidst the chaos of fame and his inner struggles. The imagery of the Shangri-La studio as a retreat reflects his longing for a sanctuary, a place away from the pressures of the world. There’s this contrast between the material success of fame and the spiritual emptiness it can bring. It’s like Mac is trying to find meaning beyond the surface, using the metaphor of Shangri-La as both a literal and figurative escape. You can hear that yearning in his voice, a desire for clarity and peace, even as he wrestles with the weight of external expectations and internal chaos.

In both tracks, Mac is navigating his identity—how he fits into the world of fame, how he processes his emotions, and how he deals with the disconnect between who he is and who the world perceives him to be. It’s a journey of self-discovery that resonates deeply with anyone who’s ever felt conflicted about their own path or sense of purpose.

‘Funny Papers’ is the best song on Balloonerism in my opinion.

Mac uses a fatal car crash and the birth of a baby to illustrate the fragility of life as he contemplates his relationship with death, fame, and everything in between.

“Recently, I only meet peace when in deep sleep / Been the same dream, world safe, smile on her face / Waitin’ on the other side (The other side) / I wonder if he’ll take me to the other side”

The juxtaposition of finding peace in sleep while facing uncertainty in the waking world paints a picture of someone deeply torn, caught between the desire for escape and the harsh realities that come with it.

On ‘Excelsior’, Mac paints the picture of a group of children playing at a playground as he reflects on simpler times. He questions why the complexity of adulthood stripped away the innocence and creativity of childhood. This imagery is accompanied by somber piano keys, light drums and the sounds of children playing in the background that illuminate Mac’s spoken word delivery.

‘Transformations’ is a dark, eerie track that’s been hijacked by Mac’s horrorcore alter-ego, Delusional Thomas. Thomas acts as the devil on Mac’s shoulder distinguished by his squeaky high pitch voice who’s not afraid to crack inappropriate jokes and spit shock value bars. He’s made many appearances throughout Mac’s career, most notably on his own self-titled mixtape in 2013 that can be characterized as disturbing and violent.

On ‘Manakins’, Mac confronts deep existential questions and personal struggles, examining life’s complexities and the constant search for meaning. The song reflects on the unpredictable nature of existence and the way societal expectations weigh heavily on our identities.

“God is like the school bell, He gon’ tell you when your time is up“

Through powerful metaphors and philosophical insights, Mac delves into the tension between wanting to break free from societal norms and the pull of self-destructive tendencies. Ultimately, ‘Manakins’ explores the delicate balance between freedom, the pursuit of self-understanding, and the challenges of navigating personal and existential battles.

‘Tomorrow Will Never Know’ is a daunting 11 minute outro that slowly fades its dreamy atmosphere into a fleet of darkness. The subject matter of this song concludes the existential battle with life he’s been fighting throughout the album, “you wonder when God will just listen and give you a break. And he says, ‘see, living and dying are one and the same.” After alluding to death as an escape, his final words on the album express his desire for a fresh start, “if you could make it go away. Give you a chance to start all over.”

At the start of the song we hear the same cassette tape from the beginning being ejected, symbolizing the end of the album. A phone is heard ringing throughout the song that goes to voicemail and continues to ring until the song fades into silence. This small detail mixed with the overlying themes of death leads me to the conclusion that this song symbolizes his overdose and final words. The phone ringing out could symbolize his call for help, or it could also symbolize his absence as someone tries to reach him. Either way, this is one of the heaviest songs I’ve ever heard. The 7 minutes of ambience left me absolutely speechless as I began processing my feelings after digesting such moving material.

In Balloonerism, Mac doesn’t offer easy answers—if anything, he was digging deeper into the questions, exploring his own psyche in ways that feel more painful than ever. The production is perfect for the introspective, almost hypnotic journey the listener embarks on, creating a space where each lyric feels like it’s been poured from his soul. It’s dark, yes, but it’s also undeniably beautiful in its raw honesty. In the scope of his life and career examined in this review, it’s an extremely important piece of his journey that I’m glad we were able to receive. This album is a phenomenal, thought provoking piece of art for many of us searching for the same answers.

Rest in peace, Mac.